Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
