as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
