she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
