So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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