I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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