apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
