Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
