Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
