2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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