i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
