How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Hippo gnu deer
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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