Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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