I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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