Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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