she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
