How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I could make wine with my vomit
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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