I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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