After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
