Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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