What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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