dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
