Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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