I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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