Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
