Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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