I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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