So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
