hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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