i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize