My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
