Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
