i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize