Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
