The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
