Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
