i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
