i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
