can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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