you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
