every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
