): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
