Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
