I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
