we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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