Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
