yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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