his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
