He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
