I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize