Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
