But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
