sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
