Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
