Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
