I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
