i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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