i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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