i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
