it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
