I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
