idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
