Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's rum buckets o'clock
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
