I looked at my own cervix.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize