theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
