You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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