you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
