Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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