Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
