I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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